Since you been Gone
by naitheas
Summary: For the past 4 years Hilary has done nothing but try to piece together a broken team. Now when the source of all her problems, Kai, returns, will she succumb to her desires or hold onto her grudge. kaihil cowritten with mysticwater
1. Part One

A/N: this is a kaihil fic, written by moi and the darling mystic-water. Unlike all of my other very short lived fics, this one will most likely be continued LOL because im doing it with someone else XD so watch this space.

**:Since you been Gone:**

**chapter 1**

L'espace vide. The empty space - An ironic name for a place where people came simply to loose themselves in waves of bodies and sweat. However, it wasn't quite what Hilary expected. She tittered at the doorway, her eyes fixated on the masses of people that seemed to just meld into each other, pulsating in time with the music. Waves of crystal light would wash over them occasionally, causing a few heads to turn upward, screaming for absolutely no reason.

What song was it? She listened hard, but had no idea. It was just a mess of banging noise. It was giving her a headache, but more than that, she was beginning to feel a little out of place. She had jeans and a t-shirt on. _Jeans and a t-shirt, what was she thinking!_ Her mind scolded her – this was a nightclub, not a walk in the park. She glanced at the other girls in their tight belt-turned-skirts and shimmering see-through tops.

"Hey cutie,"

Her head jolted upward to see a tall, drunken figure. His dark hair clung to his forehead, plastered down with sweat. She stumbled backward a bit, and his lazy smile grew.

"You know," he continued, "I always liked Mickey." He gestured to the famous mouse on her shirt. "He's very," The man drew a long, taxing breath, "Cute."

"Uh huh." Hilary nodded slowly at him, trying to edge away. The guy's closeness was unnerving, but the smell was worse. "Listen, I have to meet some friends and –"

"I'll be your friend," He told her, his arms snaking around her waist and pulling her into the crowd. Hilary's breath caught in her throat. Shit, now how was she going to find Mariam? That's who she was looking for, after all. That's who had dragged her out of her beyblade meeting for this. Hilary growled – some friend! Ditching her at the door when she knew good and well Hilary had little to no experience with this sort of thing! She had to find her and severe the girl's hands or something. And hell, this guy? Hilary's dark ruby eyes narrowed as she looked up at him. The nerve! His hand was on her ASS. HER ASS.

"I don't need you as a friend because I already _have_ one and I need to _find _her," She hissed up at him, "So if you'll excuse me," _Before I am forced to hurt you_.

If not for the fact his grip on her tightened, Hilary would've sworn he hadn't heard a thing she said. The man just kept smiling and swaying and becoming closer, and closer, and impossibly closer still. And his lips, dare she even look at the things out of fear he'd take it the wrong way, were scarily near hers. If he didn't move soon … The white light flashed over their part of the crowd. A few seconds, but Hilary knew it'd be her only chance before the guy did something stupid. She kneed him –where it hurt- and began to push her way through the crowd screaming, "Mariam! Mariam where the fuck are you!"

Behind her she knew the man had fallen to the cold, concrete ground and remained there. Writhing and spitting. Cursing that girl in the Mickey Mouse t-shirt while a million others danced over him in hot pink stilettos. What did they care? He was only another face without a name.

Then a flicker of blue hair, to the right. Hilary's pace grew faster, more aggressive. People were pressing into her from all sides, making it hard for her to reach her destination. And there was something else too, a feeling at the pit of her stomach, telling her to give in. Telling her that the music wasn't that bad, that the dancing looked fun, the dancing looked free. Didn't she want to be free? She ignored the feeling, focussing solely on the fact that she was almost there. She'd almost reached Mariam. The blue would disappear occasionally, dipping into the crowd before popping up again, tossing this way and that.

Now, the flash of blue hair was close, with only perhaps one or two people separating it from Hilary. She knew she'd have to lunge for Mariam, before the crowd moved and they were separated.

With the sudden beat of the music she found everyone jumping up and down- bumping her forward. Good, all the more closer to Mariam- oh was she going to get an earful when she got her hands on her.

Hilary saw the blue hair move towards the bar- oh she was not going to be stuck on this damn dance floor by herself. The brunette dived at the bobbing blue hair of her friend and latched around her abnormally wide waist.

"You bitch!" She screamed over the loud music into Mariam's back. "I've been looking for you everywhere! Thanks to you I had some fucking drunken idiot feel my ass up! You know I don't do well with crowds, let alone idiot males! I deal with Tyson everyday! I don't need to come to a fucking club to deal with more bullshit."

She felt a large hand grab hers and spin her around so she was leaning against the bar counter- Hilary blinked as she stared into familiar auburn eyes. _Those are definitely not Mariam's eyes! And Mariam definitely had longer hair…_

There was a long pause as the person who was holding her looked her over. Hilary choked on her own gasp as her legs went numb at the sight before her. It couldn't be…

A deep masculine voice chuckled at her outburst, "I'm a bitch now am I? Well that's certainly the first time I've been called by that name from you." Fuck she would know that voice any where. She was positive… it **was** him.

Two-toned blue hair was plastered against his forehead as sweat trickled down the side of his face. By now he was at least 6'3 and still muscular from all the bey-training he put himself through. His right arm leaned on the counter as he leaned closer to inspect her, while his left kept a firm hold on her hand. Had he always been this well toned? _God, did it just get really hot in here, or is it just me? _

"K-Kai?"

Why was he here? That damn bastard! She hadn't seen him since the end of the Third World Championships. Even Tala couldn't tell her or Tyson where he disappeared to. He just left. Without so much as a goodbye- he just vanished like he had never been apart of their team. No one even knew where he was.

She had never seen Tyson so pissed off in her life. There was no use calming him down either. Hell the kid even refused to eat for a week before his stomach gave out and he went to an all-you-can-eat buffet for comfort food. Ray told her that it wasn't un-kai-like for him to disappear like this- but this was different because he never came back, and no one ever knew why.

The brunette shivered as she felt Kai's warm palm caress over her cheek and brush through her chestnut brown hair. "You've grown up."

_That's it? He hasn't seen me in four fucking years and that's all he has to say to me! You've grown up! That's what happens when you leave! People change and grown up! Doesn't he have anything else to say for himself!_

**SLAP**

If the music hadn't been blaring in her ear drums, she was positive that slap across his face would have echoed around the room. The stunned expression on his face was enough to make her feel some relief. Somehow it had always been her who could manage to crack his mannerisms he held with high regard. And by the gods she had done it again. Good, that cold-hearted jerk owed her an apology and an explanation.

Hilary was panting heavily out of anger now- and the lack of oxygen in the club wasn't helping the situation any better. "_'You've grown up'_?" She yelled in mockery, "Yes Kai! That's what fucking happens when you disappear for four years! Where the hell have you-"

Hilary was cut short when she felt his arm wrap around her waist and his hand around the wrist of the hand he was already holding, and pulled her up against his matured body. He was hugging her… Why was he hugging her!

"You know," He began to tell her, his voice warm against her ear, "I can't even remember where I was. I know it was cold," He pulled her closer to him, leaning down to bury his face in the nape of her neck, "isolated and well," His breath was ticklish, and she had to fight not to squirm beneath him. She wasn't used to this. Used to being held by an incredibly sexy guy with clothes so tight you could basically feel… everything. She bit her lip. Yeah, she was annoyed at it, but the comment on how she had grown up? It meant he noticed.

Sometimes it felt like nobody ever noticed her. She wasn't about to offer him free sex, but she still didn't want him thinking she was freaked out or anything.

"Lonely." Kai finished his sentence, and she could feel him smirking against her skin as his hands began to move south. Hilary caught them.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed, bringing his head up so she had eye contact. This way she could be sure he was listening. "You can't just show up after four years, leaving me – yes, Kai, _me_ – to deal with the rubble you left behind, and then try to molest me! Things have happened in the past four years, you know."

Kai cocked his head to one side, his smirk still prominent. "Things? Like what." He said it as almost a challenge.

"Like me getting together with Tyson, that's what." True, sadly. She'd always had a crush on the team captain (well, who wouldn't, really) and for a second there … She had thought she'd been in with a chance. Plain little Hilary with uber sexy Kai. To most people it was unthinkable - what with all the fan girls he had, he could choose anyone. But she had believed that maybe, just maybe… Fuck, it didn't matter what she thought because in the end, he left them. Her.

When she found out, she was so mad she wanted to scream. Run after him and ram his pretty head into some aeroplane propellers. Make him hurt as much as he'd made her hurt. Make him regret… So when Tyson finally made the move, who was she to resist? He was cute enough. Safe enough. And although she never felt any huge attraction to Tyson (he still annoyed her as much as ever), she had been content.

Up until now. Tyson was warm afternoons in the park, coffees after work, gentle touches in the dark. And Kai – her eyes drifted slowly down his body, noting his provocative clothing and his air of oozing confidence – Kai was mindless nightclubs, altering drugs and quickies wherever possible. Yet on top of that he offered something Tyson never could.

Passion.

"Tyson?" Kai rose an eyebrow, seeming a little amused. "That fat kid with the scruffy old baseball cap and the incessant do-good nature?" He scoffed, loudly. "Despite your unusual taste in clothes, you could do better, Hilary."

She stared at him, hard. Convincing herself he'd only lead to trouble. "Maybe I don't want to do better."

Kai snorted at her; which caught her off guard slightly. It wasn't often that Kai second guessed her- he always trusted her word- After all, wasn't it him who had accepted Hilary into the Blade Breakers with open arms? Reducing himself to train under a girl to control the frustrating new beyblade Kenny had presented him with. Wasn't it Kai who was always around to save her sorry ass whenever she managed to get herself into near-death situations?

At least that's how it was when they were younger… when he was still a part of her life… a part of the team… a part of the family the Blade Breakers had created. But Kai had left that behind when he walked away and disappeared off the face of the planet for four years… And now Hilary let the annoying bluenette be the one she initially wanted Kai to be. And now Kai was back trying to stake his claim- like Tyson didn't have any right to be the one guy in her life.

He had no right!

"Hilary, at some point everyone thrives to do better- you've always been that way." He said pointedly.

She glared up at him, "What would you know about what I've always been like? You left remember? I've changed!"

_And so have you… but is it for the better?_

"Apart from growing up… I see no change. You are still hot-headed, hot tempered and cute in that way only you can manage. Shame really, took me leaving for Tyson to realize that." Kai grunted as he glanced back towards the dance floor where the hot and sweaty bodies continued to mingle, jump and grind.

Apparently purposely trying to ignore Hilary's stunned reaction. Hilary herself wasn't sure whether to scream even more at him for the insults or blush madly at the sudden change in his tone towards her- and the words… _Cute? Didn't know such a word was in Kai's vocabulary…_

Deciding to drop the matter, she moved to push past Kai but he refused to move, "Look Kai- its great your back, the boys will be thrilled. But I need to find Mariam. Now if you excuse me-"

Mariam? Now that was a name he hadn't heard in a long time. "You're the one who was bitching about me being away for so long. Didn't you want to catch up with an old friend?" That trademark smirk just wouldn't leave his face.

She sighed dejectedly; this was not the way she had expected the night to go. "Why don't you stop by the dojo tomorrow and-"

"Why don't you stop talking?" She glanced up upon hearing his low growl as he pressed her against the bar counter, invading her mouth with his. "Stupid girl! Do you know how long I've wanted you?"

Hilary blinked again as he kissed her more forcibly this time. Her mind began to shut down. How was she supposed to resist the man she'd wanted for so long? True, he had no right, but _damn. _There and then, she decided, quite consciously, to give in. It was only one night, god only knew when there'd be another chance. He could be gone by morning. She could be loyal to Tyson tomorrow.

Then there was nothing but the music, the light, and him assaulting all her senses. His hands… he was pulling her back into the crowd, acutely aware of the fact that if they were in there, Hilary would become a part of them. She'd loose her individuality, and she'd loose her ability to doubt.

Ah, it'd been so long without human contact and despite his anti-social tendencies … it was a relief to be back. To have this strange young woman pressed against him and feel her lips on his. Kai wondered vaguely if he was just using her for physical contact. Of course, he hadn't been lying when he said he'd always thought she was cute. But cute didn't exactly mean he'd wanted to love her for all eternity. It didn't even necessarily mean he wanted to fuck her (though, as he'd mentioned before, he wouldn't object). Had Tyson? Had that stupid overgrown kid already gotten her?

Kai wasn't sure if he himself wanted to, but the thought of Tyson doing it with Hilary … well, it irritated him. Tyson didn't deserve her, there was no way he could satisfy her. Could he? Kai broke away from Hilary for a moment to examine her face. "Do you love him?" He asked loudly, straining to be heard over the music.

"What?" She yelled back, stopped dead in her tracks. Her mind was still catching up. Love… who? What? Why did he stop? "What?" She repeated.

"Do you love him? Tyson."

Tyson. Reality crashed down. "Um," She began, not sure of how to answer. How was she supposed to tell him the answer to a question she herself didn't even know. There was no right one, for Kai. Yes would mean loosing every chance she had. No would mean giving herself up to him, admitting something she didn't want to admit. At least, not yet. Because when it came down to it, this was the first time they'd seen each other for four years. He'd given her no reason to trust him, or even begin to think he might still be here tomorrow. As far as Hilary knew, Kai didn't feel a thing for her. He could just be using her. Taking advantage of the moment. "He makes me happy," She settled on telling him and with a pained look of regret, began to walk away.

Her place wasn't here, with all these people drawn to the total anti-glamour of l'espace vide. Nor was it with Kai.

She'd find Mariam, and then she'd go home to Tyson. He would be waiting.

…

"Where were you?" The whining begins before she even managed to close the door behind her. Taking a deep, calming breath, Hilary took off her shoes and left them in a hallway, replacing them with slippers. The dojo, which had been her home for some time now, was so cold in winter. She could never really get used to it, but she had moved in to please Tyson. Despite all the whingeing he really was good to her … it was only fair that she made some sort of sacrifice for him. Besides, Grandpa hadn't quite carked it yet, which meant Tyson and Hilary were still expected to sleep in separate rooms. The guy didn't seem it at first glance, what with his "dudes" and overall surfy, carefree attitude, but Grandpa really was a traditionalist at heart. There was no way he was going to have his grandson having some sort of… some sort of… _mistress. _What was the world coming to?

Hilary pretended to be bummed about it, but she was secretly relieved. She wasn't sure if she could cope with Tyson 24/7, not to mention the whole sex thing. Sure, they'd done it before. Quite a few times and it wasn't _that_ bad. But it just wasn't _enjoyable_, the way she'd imagined it to be. It was supposed to be something special, yet when she did it with Tyson … She knew he tried, he really did, but let's just say the shower got a lot of use afterward.

Sex felt dirty.

And maybe it was like that for everyone, and all the movies and books she'd ever seen lied to her. Maybe it was all some sort of façade to hide the truth, and the only reason people did it was because it was expected of them.

She didn't know. She didn't care. This was her life, there were no other options. Kai didn't even come into the equation, she was smarter than that. Kai would never be anything more than a little crush. A little fling.

"Sorry," Hilary forced a smile onto her face, at the same time forcing her memories of the past few hours to the dark recesses of her mind. Don't think about it. He could ruin you. "Mariam took me out after work and getting out of it was harder than I expected."

Tyson was lounging on the couch, his training uniform on, a bowl of spaghetti resting on his stomach. "I had to make my own dinner," He pouted, craning his head back to catch Hilary on the lips, "I was waiting for so long, and my stomach was growling and-"

"Poor baby," Hilary said, moving over into the kitchen, where she could still see and hear her boyfriend. She could barely keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

She opened the fridge as Tyson continued to ramble. "Well I have some good news!" He called to her.

"Oh?" She called back over her shoulder, taking out a cola from the fridge cracking it open as she continued to browse the kitchen for something to eat.

"Yeah. I got a phone call when I got home- you'll guess who it was!"

Opening the cupboard she reached in and pulled out some rippled, salted potato chips. Or what was left of them anyway- Daichi must have been over because the bag was now almost empty. "Who called Tyson?"

"Kai!"

She felt her body go numb as she dropped the chips onto the counter and placed the coke down as she tried to stable herself. "Re-really?"

"Heh', yeah… he's finally back. Though he wouldn't really elaborate where he went- I have a feeling he went back to Russia to sort things out with the estate he inherited after that bastard Voltaire croaked." Tyson snorted at this, he really hated that man and Boris. She couldn't blame him- Boris was an ass and Voltaire was quite controlling over Kai when he was alive.

"What did he say?" She asked somewhat hesitantly.

"Oh he was asking about the team. I told him you were out. He sounded disappointed. I think he was looking forward to talking to all of us again. Heh', the cold bastard has a heart no matter how much he likes to deny it." Tyson laughed at this, "But I gave him everyone's number. He wants to meet with you, me and the gang tomorrow here- the usual training spot. Like the old days."

'_Shit…'_

Hilary drew in a breath looking over her shoulder- she couldn't see her boyfriend from the kitchen, but she wanted to make sure he couldn't see how shaken up she was at the moment.

'_Tyson…' _She let out a small moan as she glanced back down at the counter, _'How the fuck am I supposed to face Kai after tonight?' _

"Damnit, why did he have to leave!"

Tyson blinked, and glanced back at the kitchen, "Hilary?"

She froze. Fuck, she said that out loud! She sighed dejectedly, running a trembling hand through her hair, "Nothing, Tyson." Her voice gaining control. "What time is everyone gunna be here tomorrow?"

Tyson frowned slightly, still worried about his girlfriend. "Around 10am. I tried to get it past noon, but you know Kai and his early mornings!" he pouted.

Hilary chuckled, memories flooding back to her. Everyone morning around 7am, Kai and him always got into an argument about how early or how late it was to train. "It's more like, you and your sleeping-in habits!" She laughed out loud.

"I need my beauty sleep!" He pouted.

Coming back into the kitchen, her nerves slightly more stable, holding her pop and chips she took a seat beside the bluenette. "I doubt any amount of sleep can save you in that area." She teased.

Putting on his best pout Tyson leaned on Hilary, "You're so mean."

"It's my job." She chuckled as she went to grab some chips only to have it snatched away from her hands by Tyson.

"Oh! That monkey boy is gunna pay! I just bought these!"

Hilary rolled her eyes, "I thought I told you not to invite him over anymore. He's nothing but a nuisance – always destroying my furniture, eating my food…"

"I don't invite him over! He just… comes." He whined, scarfing down the remaining chips. "Hey, what're you going to cook for tomorrow?"

Hilary blinked. Cook? "Um."

"You know how much training can take it out of you." He told her, smiling wistfully at the thought of more food. Last time the team got together, they'd all been a lot younger and Hilary certainly hadn't been going out with Tyson, let alone was even interested in him. And she definitely hadn't been expected to flit around serving them snacks and drinks.

"So, what? I'm just your maid for the morning?" She snapped at him suddenly, angered at the visual in her mind. Poor little Hilary with her maid's dress and cap on, asking everyone if they were comfortable enough or something. Tyson himself suddenly got the same image in his mind, but he just smiled. Hilary would look so cute in a uniform like that … But even he knew she wouldn't be receptive to the idea.

"Not a _maid,_ Hil', more like a housewife, you know? It's what girls do, so don't be worried, I'm sure you'll be great at it." He nodded reassuringly at her, "I know it's kind of your first time serving anyone besides Daichi, 'cause we don't have people 'round much, but I have total faith in you."

"Housewife." She stared at Tyson. Hard. "Is that what you expect me to be?"

Tyson could sense something was wrong, but he put it down to nerves. "Hilary, the guys are your friends, remember? They won't judge you if you do something wrong." He rose a hand to pat her on the shoulder. She swatted it away. "I'm sure you'll make a great lunch, and I'm sure the team will love it. Really. Just make sure everyone's comforta-"

"Comfortable!" Hilary stood up fast, her chair clattering behind her. "Comfortable!" She was shrieking. "I'm not a fucking housewife, Tyson! I'm a part of this team, and I have been for a long time. Going out with you isn't going to change that! I'm not going to suddenly start serving you sandwiches and asking how you like your tea! Okay! This isn't the 18th century! Women have rights! And," Her glare narrowed impossibly further, "I am NOT your wife!"

"Honey," Tyson whined, staring at her back as she began to storm out of the room. Totally not understanding but pretending to anyway, he continued, "I know that, and it's going to be ok. All you have to do is-"

"I don't _have_ to do _anything_ for you, Tyson!" She screeched as she slammed her bedroom door closed. As it did, she turned and leant against it, staring at her trembling hands as she slowly slumped to the floor. God, she hated Tyson at that moment, but more than that? She hated herself, because all she could think of that whole time was, _Kai wouldn't do this to me. Kai wouldn't do this to me._ And Kai wasn't a fucking possibility! When would she get that into her head! She hadn't in the past four years, but now she'd have to. Just like she'd have to make fucking sandwiches tomorrow, if only to sedate her guilt a little.

_Kai wouldn't do this to me._


	2. Part Two

A/N: Thanks for the reviews last time guys hope you enjoy this chapter as well

**:Since you been Gone:**

**chapter 2**

"Awesome as always Hilary! Leave it to you to throw the best barbeques."

Letting a smile crease her features, she glanced affectionately over at Max and his now empty plate. "Thanks Maxy."

"I always knew there was a reason I missed being in Japan." Ray laughed, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, "It's great to back, just like old times, eh Hils?" He glanced over at Kai and Tyson who was begrudgingly battling Kai, despite his constant whining about wanting to eat before Daichi ate all the food.

"After I beat you Kai, we are stopping so I can eat!" Tyson yelled angrily, watching as their two familiar blades circled the dish.

"Always thinking about your damn stomach as usual, Tyson." Kai let out a sly smirk as he silently ordered Dranzer out of Dragoon's attacking range.

Hilary glanced at the shorter redhead sitting beside Kenny who was scarfing down as much food as he could shove into his large mouth. "Daichi will you please pace yourself! You're gunna choke if you keep going at it like that!"

Daichi just grunted as he reached for another barbequed chicken leg.

"Same as always." Ray laughed.

She couldn't help but smile, despite her resentment on having to serve her boys, like Tyson practically ordered her to. But that was just it; they were **her** boys. And she had always held a certain point of authority over them, like it was her job to take care of them. Though no one ever asked her to, she had silently come up with that idea nearly six years ago when the Blade Breakers almost split before the second world tournament.

Sighing heavily as she glanced to Kai, pain seared through her chest as she watched him battle relentlessly with Tyson like the good-old-days. She had avoided talking to him unless it was necessary all morning. And it took every fibre of her being to prevent herself from blushing constantly in his presence.

Kai had always been the one who kept everyone else in line, the one who let Hilary into the Blade Breakers life. Without his say-so, she could have been told to get loss permanently plenty a time. But he allowed her to stay, much like Kenny, and take up an undeviating place on the team.

She owed him… owed him much more than probably anyone besides herself realised. Kai gave her friends, family, a home… he gave her life back several times, saving her from near death experiences. Dear god, did she owe him big.

Yet she couldn't help but feel anger towards him. Four years. It was his fault! If he would have stayed, she wouldn't have agreed to date Tyson. She could willingly kiss him like he did last night.

But it was his fault!

He left her; left her a mess to clean up after he left. He left her a broken team and family. When he left, the Blade Breakers fell apart.

Max had returned to America upon seeing his team slowly fall apart. He argued with Tyson more than usual. His happy-go-lucky nature slowly faded, and he could do nothing but return home to Judy, Emily, Michael and the rest of his former team.

And then there was Ray; the usually stable one of the team. The one who always seemed to have the answer to make things right, he seemed at a loss when Kai left. The two of them had been very close, in the way Max and Tyson had been best friends; she assumed it applied the same for Kai and Ray. So naturally when Kai left, Ray was pissed and decided to return to his homeland in China.

That left her, Tyson, Kenny, and Daichi to deal as a team once again. Hiro didn't seem to mind that Kai, Ray and Max decided to leave again. But Kenny and Daichi seemed at a loss as well when dealing with Tyson's anger again. It was bad enough when the team split apart for the first time during the Third World Championships. But when Kai disappeared for good, Hilary had never seen Tyson so frustrated, it even affected his blading.

Hilary had a large mess to clean up. She couldn't be any help to Ray and Max who had run away from the situation. Maybe that's why she agreed to Tyson's dating proposal. She felt like it was her duty to her team and to her family to save Tyson. Because after they started dating, his beyblading skills improved again.

And it was all Kai's fault… for leaving… leaving them… leaving her.

But seeing her 6 boys together again… she had never felt more at home… never felt happier… never felt more relieved in her life. **This** was how it should have been… **this** was how it should be. _And **this**_, she thought, rather disdainfully, _will be over once the sun set_. She stared at the beef patties on the BBQ, noticing vaguely that they were burning.

"I beat you." Kai told Tyson matter-of-factly as his blade shot back into his hand. Though he might try to hide it, he was quietly amused at his former team mate's reaction. He seemed almost relieved.

"Well, good game." The darker coloured bluenette nodded, and then turned away with a gleeful smile, "Food!" He squealed, bounding over to the barbeque. Hilary forced a smile, and turned to go back inside.

She still had to clean the kitchen before anyone could be allowed in, and god – she glanced down at her apron, covered with grime and flyaway bits of food. Disgusting. She'd have to wash that too before going back inside. But for now … she sighed, kicked off her shoes, and collapsed onto the couch. Who knew housework was so fucking hard?

"Lunch was horrible."

Hilary froze, her head barely touching the sofa's armrest. She remained there as Kai sat down by her feet, and turned to face her, a small smirk on his lips.

"Whoever taught you to cook? So much ash can't be healthy." He teased her, resting his arms on her legs.

Quickly recovering, Hilary kicked him, "Shut up. No one asked for your opinion."

"No, but you were in dire need of it"

She scoffed, "Like you could do any better. It's hardly my fault Tyson wants me to play mother for the day." She picked up one of the cushions from behind her and squeezed it against her chest. Tightly. Stupid Tyson. "I mean, who does he think he is, anyway? He's not the boss of me!"

Kai snickered, lifting up her legs and placing them across his lap, "You sound like a child."

The brunette glared at him. "What're you doing here, anyway? You know that we can't …" She blushed, turning away, "You know."

"Know what?" He asked, beginning to trace circles on the soft pink soles of her feet. She squirmed uncomfortably.

"That tickles."

"Really?" He didn't stop.

She chose to ignore him. "You know what I mean. Last night won't ever happen again." She sat up somewhat, propping herself up with her elbows, and stared hard at him, as if to emphasise the point.

Kai's hand began to move up her bare leg, "I don't see why not." She had decided to wear a light, summer dress today, perhaps to impress the fact she could be womanly onto Tyson, though it could hardly be said that he noticed. Kai, on the other hand, was enjoying the accessibility it promised, as opposed to the tight fitting jeans she had worn last night. They had hardly been any fun.

"Are you an idiot?" She hissed, careful not to alert Tyson to them, "Didn't you understand what I was saying last night? I'm with Tyson now, it's not going to change, and you know what?" She frowned, slapping his hand away as it got too high for comfort, "It's _all your fault_."

Kai rolled his eyes, "You'd rather be with me." He stated simply, glancing at her to gauge her reaction.

She growled at him, "You're such an arrogant ass! What is so good about you, huh?" She went to stand up, instinctively wanting to be taller than him. To intimidate him. But as she towered over him, annoyed as hell, he didn't seem fazed by it at all. "You think you're so much more attractive? So much more intelligent! So much more freakin … perfect! So fucking superior! Why would I even _want _a piece of that, Kai?"

Kai yawned, "Why wouldn't you?"

Hilary screamed. "You're so…. Frustrating!" Her voice was shrill as she turned to storm away, beyond words. Who did he think he was? She kicked a cushion that had fallen onto the timber floors, sending it flying into the wall.

"Where are you going?"

"Where do you think? Outside," Then, a pause, "With Tyson."

Kai stood up then. With Tyson? Had he pushed her too far this time? After all that's what he had been doing ever since he got back, hadn't he? Been pushing her limits, to see how far she could go without snapping, to see how far he could push, to see if there was anyway around the _'Tyson-factor'_. As he suspected, Hilary was still stubborn and still loyal. But he would break that. He wasn't stupid. He knew she didn't love Tyson- he couldn't even detect the attraction between them, and Kai had been at the dojo all morning.

Even while they were younger, Kai recalled, there was never any attraction, just one big superiority complex with each other. That was about it.

"You know, you still haven't answered my question yet."

Hilary stopped in mid-step as she approached the kitchen. Kai was just trying to lure her back to him. _Don't fall for it!_ Hilary frowned. What question? What was that arrogant ass talking about?

She took the bait.

"What question?" She snapped, glancing over her right shoulder at him to find Kai standing with his arms folded over his chest.

"Do you love him?"

Hook, Line, and Sinker. Time to real her in. Hilary screwed up her face, biting down hard on her tongue.

How could he ask her that and keep a straight face? He looked so damn serious. Was he? Why did he want to know so badly? She clenched her fists till her knuckles turned white. What did it matter? It was too late for him anyway. This was his own fault!

"I told you already," She said slowly, keeping her voice firm. "He makes me happy."

She gasped loudly as she felt a hand wrap around her wrist, and she could do nothing but uncurl her fist when he tugged her to face him. "That's not the proper answer, and you know it." His voice was calmer than before, less tense. But his gaze was focused on her previously clenched fist.

Slowly he trailed his fingers over her hand with his free one, as he continued to hold her wrist tight, to make sure she wouldn't pull away. He let his fingers trace over hers, in soft, fluid and circular like patterns, with a gentleness she wasn't used to seeing from Kai.

"Kai, what are you-?" Her breath hitched as he brought the palm of her hand to his lips, and gently pressed his warm lips upon her skin. Kissing her. Such a sensual action got Hilary's heart pumping loudly in her ears, as she watched in fascination as Kai placed butterfly kisses up her wrist.

"I'm not stupid Hilary." He said in a low voice, his auburn eyes finally catching with hers- damn, that made breathing all the more harder. "I know you don't love him." It was a stern, confirmation, and that cocky bastard didn't even need her voiced approval to know he was right.

"I-" Hilary was unsure of what to do now. Kai wasn't supposed to have this much control of her! She was with Tyson. But Kai knew how to control her in ways Tyson could only dream of. She was angry… but how could she stay mad when under his intense gaze.

"You can't lie to me, Hil's." He smirked slowly, "You never could." And as she parted her lips, about to answer, he leant forward and captured them with his own, running his lips over them. Savouring the taste. He didn't require any confirmation. He was always right. And really, hadn't there already been enough talking for today? Hadn't she already exhausted –

"Hilary? Kai?"

The couple broke away fiercely, Hilary stumbling a little without his support. Her eyes darted wildly between Kai and the intruder – Ray. The Chinese boy, now turned man, was shaking his head, as if to rid his mind of the images he'd just seen before him. "Wha… What …"

Kai, for the first time, looked at a loss. He wanted Hilary, of course, as he knew she wanted him … but was she ready to give into it yet? And so crudely? Not to mention what Tyson's reaction would be … not only had he lost his friend for the past four years, but if Kai and Hilary even hinted at some sort of bizarre attraction to each other now … he would also loose his girlfriend. His girlfriend of three years. And Hilary would hate Kai for jerking her out of her perfectly settled life so suddenly, without giving her time to think or prepare.

Taking advantage of Ray's shock, Kai turned to Hilary and hissed, "Slap me."

She stared blankly at him.

"Slap me god damn it or that -"

**SLAP**

Second time in 24 hours, but the feeling wasn't as good as she thought it might be. The first time had been out of anger, and fuck that boy if he thought she had forgotten the fact he'd left. She'd just, you know, momentarily forgotten. Momentarily allowed him to get his filthy paws all over her. For her own benefit, of course….

Who was she kidding? She didn't want to slap him now! She wanted to fuck him in the bathroom, with Tyson innocently waiting outside for her, oblivious to everything but his hot dog.

"What-! Bitch!" Hilary blinked, suddenly remembering her situation.

"Bitch!" She yelled at him, "Who're you calling a bitch, you rapist!"

"Rapist? You've been wanting me ever since I got here!" And with a dirty, sneaky smile, he stepped a little closer to her, closing the gap between them yet again.

But only for a few moments. Hilary screamed, jumping back, sending frantic looks to Ray, who was still looking slightly confused. Hadn't they been kissing a moment ago? Hadn't it taken Hilary awfully long to protest? "You bastard! Get away from me!" _I think I deserve an Oscar for this performance._

"Why," Kai growled, following her in long, stalking movements. "You little frigid cu-"

"Kai, stop right there!" And suddenly Ray was at her side, as protective and righteous as ever. "What has gotten into you, man?" He said disgustedly, once he was sure Kai had stopped trying to harass poor, young, innocent Hilary. "She's with Tyson, you know that." He held Hilary by her shoulders, looking straight into her slightly tear stained eyes.

"Are you ok, Hil'?"

Hilary managed a slight tremble in her voice as she whispered, "I… I think so …"

Ray sighed, "Tyson is going to hate you for this, Kai. You really blew it this time, you know that?"

Kai nodded, silently, still eyeing Hilary.

"Stop looking at her! Man!" As if he thought it would help the situation, he stepped in front of the girl, shielding her from view. "You're never going to be allowed in this house again! Shit! Don't you get it! Kai! Look at me!"

Begrudgingly so, Kai lifted his gaze to Ray. He'd gladly take the blame for this; Hilary would only hate him if she was suddenly at fault.

There was sudden cold chill that coursed though Hilary's body as she watched Kai's icy glare sear into Ray. But the neko boy seemed unaffected, like he was used to this kind of look from Kai. But Hilary wasn't. Kai never got like this when she was around.

"I'll fucking look at her if I damn well want to." Kai's voice was raised up a notch, as if to intimidate his former team mate. But Ray knew how to deal with Kai, and backing down never got a point across to the phoenix prince.

"No Kai! That's the point! You can't look at her like that! She belongs to Tyson!" Ray shouted back.

"I don't **belong** to anyone!" She couldn't help it. Hilary had to state this. She wasn't Tyson's, she wasn't Kai's. She belonged to no one but herself, she wasn't a fucking inanimate object that could be fucking _owned_!

Suddenly the yelling stopped, Hilary stared at both Ray and Kai who had become uneasily still, and was staring at someone behind her. "What's all the yelling about? Hilary I thought I told you to be a housewife just for today? Don't tell me you are demanding Ray and Kai to help you with dishes?"

Her sudden fear upon first hearing Tyson's voice vanished into anger as she spun on her heel to yell at her boyfriend.

"She's not your fucking **maid** Tyson. You should be doing the damn dishes. She cooked." Instead Kai voiced her own words for her, though anger was quite evident in his voice.

Hilary's eyes widened at this. _Kai really wouldn't do this to me…_

"Not maid per say, Kai. Man why do I feel déjà vu all of a sudden?" Tyson scratched the back of his head, but shrugged it off. "Anyway hurry up with the dishes Hil's, we'll be out back practicing. Coming Ray?" He didn't even wait for his friend's response before Tyson was gone again.

Ray's gaze stayed fixed on where Tyson used to be, before he glanced over at Kai as suddenly seemed torn as he came into realization of something, "Damnit Kai, you just had to wait four fucking years didn't you?" He hissed through his teeth, running a shaky hand through his hair.

Hilary frowned. What was Ray talking about?

Kai grunted and looked away, now refusing to look at either of them when he realized what Ray was talking about. It wasn't the nekojin's business anymore. It had been a long four years since they last had an in-dept conversation, but it seemed Ray was still remembering a significant one.

"You know, it wouldn't have been so bad if Hilary wasn't dating Tyson, Kai. But you don't get it! You don't realize what you just did-"

Kai's familiar cold glare snapped back at Ray. Oh that was a look Hilary remembered. It usually meant _'back off'_. "No Ray, I know what I just did." He moved passed Ray, and checked him in his shoulder as he did so. "Let's just leave it at that."

And with that Kai left, slamming the front door behind him, leaving Hilary alone and confused with Ray. "Ray, what-?"

Ray turned back to face Hilary, who had forgotten about her Oscar winning performance and was staring hard at the cat boy. "Kai used to… no, apparently he still does, like you. Before he left, you were the topic of one of our conversations."

"Wha-what?"

Hilary stared wide-eyed at her friend. Wasn't Kai's new found infatuation with her just a result of her _growing up_? Or was it something more than that… something that was always there…? Like how she used to feel when Kai was still apart of the Blade Breakers.

"But it's okay now. I'll talk to Kai more efficiently later. He knows you're with Tyson, so I don't know what's gotten into him. But stick close to Tyson if you're scared." Ray said softly. God he was still oblivious to her attraction towards Kai… but that was good wasn't it? She couldn't have Tyson learning about this… she already felt bad as it was letting Kai kiss her once, and now twice!

"I'm not scared of Kai!" She hissed. "I can take care of myself. Besides, I know how to handle Kai." She scoffed, watching Ray smile sheepishly. He seemed to have forgotten her stubborn streak.

He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder as he usually did to comfort her, which calmed her only slightly. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." She muttered glancing away from Ray, as she waved him off in dismissal as he finally left her alone in the living room. She let out a shaky breath she didn't realize she was holding. "I'm fine." She repeated this time to herself, stumbling backwards before falling back onto the couch, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

She was no where near bloody fine! And Hilary knew it.

Of course she didn't love Tyson! How could she! She was practically guilt-tripped into the proposal in the first place! He was always like a brother to her, annoying, always there, always in her face, always getting in her way and vice versa. Sure she loved him, but she wasn't **in love** with him. She loved all of her boys! Kai was stupid to ask such a question! She wanted to strangle him! Why did such a question even leave his mouth?

Oh god his mouth…

And he kissed her! Twice! _TWICE!_ Why? Why did she let it happen? She slapped her hand over her face, groaning loudly. And she fucking kissed him back! Bad Hilary, bad!

And the way he touched her… Kai **must** have been doing something differently than Tyson, because she could nearly breathe when she was in his touch. That couldn't be a good sign, could it? Tilting her head back on such an angle so she could see the front door, she furrowed her brows together in a deep frown.

Oh she was going to regret this.

In one swift movement, Hilary had gotten up from the couch and moved to the front door, slipping on a fair of sandals, before racing out after Kai; slamming the door behind her.

Like many times before, as she had done countless times when she was younger, Hilary went searching for Kai. After all, when it came to finding Kai it was usually herself who went looking for him and always found him. None of the other boys ever bothered or cared, always assuming Kai could handle himself, and he was distant for a reason. But Hilary knew Kai liked being found, despite his fondness of solitary, he had always tolerated her company when she found him.

Always in the same place. The Beach.

She raced down a hill and caught sight of him; standing alone, as usual. In silence as he stared out over the water. Drawing in a deep breath as her steps slowed. Yup, she was _really_ going to regret this.

"Kai!"

His head turned, slowly. Surprisingly, he didn't appear to be angry or frustrated, as Hilary expected he might be. The slight tweak at the edge of his lips assured her of that. Encouraged by this, she continued jogging down towards him stopping by his side. She flicked a little bit of sand at him with her toe.

"So predictable." She smiled up at him, still a little unsure but willing to take a chance. "You always used to come here."

"And you always used to find me." He added, not missing a beat. Still staring out at the ocean waves rolling in and crashing onto the smooth golden sand. "You didn't have to, you know."

"I know." She glanced down at her hand, then his. "But I wanted to."

"But now Tyson will know."

"Not necessarily. He believes what he wants to – he's always been stubborn like that. This is far from over." Then, deciding she wanted to change the sombre mood of it all, Hilary lunged for his hand, and began dragging him into the surf. "You know," She called behind her, as the cold waves began to lap against her legs, causing them to erupt in tiny goosebumps. "We've been to the beach so many times together, but we never actually went into the water!"

Kai narrowed his eyes at her, more concerned about his clothes than anything else. "I think there was a reason for that."

"Oh?" She turned, knee high in water, and grabbed his other hand as well. A wicked grin curled at her salty lips, "Shark boy doesn't like the water?"

"Shark boy?" He rose his eyebrow as she began to walk backwards further into the water, all the while maintaining eye contact with him. "What do you mean by that?"

She laughed, her dress half soaked and clinging to her skin. "You know … those markings of yours."

"They're triangles." He told her curtly. "Not shark fins. Baka."

"Well sorry." She rolled her eyes, the water beyond waist height now.

"How far do you intend on going in?" The Russian boy was looking edgy now, and his grip on her hands had tightened considerably. He was so cute, Hilary thought to herself secretly. It was obvious he wasn't enjoying it, but he didn't make any move to back out.

"This will do." Then, without another word, she used the weightlessness the water promised to her advantage and propelled herself upward so her arms rested around his neck. She grinned, "Stop worrying so much, a little water never killed anyone." Then, as he was about to protest, she pressed her lips to his in a hard kiss. She could have laughed out loud as she watched his eyes widen in shock. He almost started to respond when he realised the importance of it and tore his lips away.

"This is the first time," He breathed, his hands clutching her slim waist, "That you've kissed me."

Hilary frowned, "I've kissed you twice before."

Kai made an impatient noise, "That's not what I meant. It's the first time you … you know…"

"The first I started it?"

"Yeah." He nodded, pulling her closer to him, feeling every curve. Once again he was reminded of why he liked flimsy dresses on women so damn much. His hand firmly settled just above her hips on the curve of her body, enjoying how she shivered beneath his touch- or was it just the ocean's cool temperature. Kai preferred to believe it was his doing.

Hilary tilted her head, as if contemplating over the matter. "Is there something wrong with that?" She asked, blinking her ruby red eyes in mock confusion. Toying with him. Flirting even. Something he wasn't quite accustomed to, well at least not from Hilary.

It was the fan girls that usually flirted with him. Tried relentlessly and always failed to seduce him. None of the other girls ever seemed as appealing as Hilary was. Always there and always making sure he was okay.

He knew she wasn't like the other girls. The other girls, that only wanted to get close to him because of his good looks and because he was a former Blader Breaker; a celebrity. No the damn girl hated Beyblading in the beginning. She even told Tyson to stop acting like a big shot just because he was world champ, because he was still an idiot.

No, Hilary wasn't like the fans; she loved him and the other boys because they were there for her, because they were family, not celebrities.

Kai decided to play her game for now. "What if there is? What would you do if I told you I don't like that?" And he said it with such a straight face, he felt her tense beneath his fingers.

"Typical." She muttered darkly, not taking the hint. "So typical of you Hiwatari to lead me on like this- I'm beginning to remember why I regretted falling for you in the first place!" She hissed, struggling in his hold in an attempt to get away from him.

"Fall for me?" Kai ignored her sudden burst of anger and stared down at her, keeping his hold on her firm.

"What do you take me for Kai?" She yelled suddenly, pushing against his chest. "You really think I would even consider cheating on Tyson with just anyone! Do you really think I'm that easy of a slut? Like all the other typical fangirls? News flash Hiwatari, I never have been a fucking fangirl! I-"

"You are so much better than that." Kai finished for her, drawing her in closer- his lips mere inches from her ear. "Baka. I've never once thought that of you. I was teasing. You kissing me is never a problem, it's a turn on." He smirked against her skin.

The sun was setting now, blushing brightly sending a hue of reds and oranges across the waters surface. It was getting late. Hilary didn't realize until then how long she had been playing this game with Kai until now.

"You know I would never look down on you Hilary." He whispered, pressing his warm lips on the sensitive skin below her ear low, trailing kisses down her throat.

Damn him and his seductive tactics! She moaned out loud when Kai nipped at her collarbone. "Kai… what if Ray comes looking for us."

"You were the one who kissed me." He said quietly, as if to justify his actions.

"But…" Hilary trailed off when his lips found hers.

Why did he always do this to her? Always kiss her and leave her wanting more? But she kissed him this time to prove a point, and that point was leaving her vulnerable, out in the open, vulnerable to being hurt by him. Again.

She wanted him to know how she felt. Was that enough to keep him here in Japan? Or would he disappear for another 4 years?

And this kiss seemed to slowly suck every damn reasonable thought out of her head. In fact, it seemed to suck the very breath out of her as she succumbed herself to what she had been longing for, for so long. Tyson never left her feeling like this! Was it so wrong to compare the two? Maybe… because she knew Tyson could never compare to Kai.

The contrast of cold water and a hot body pressed up against her sent her body into overdrive. She couldn't handle this. This was so intense… almost intimate. But they weren't even together. She was supposed to be with Tyson, and yet she wanted Kai. Every part of her wanted Kai; her body, her heart, even her fucking mind couldn't deny that he was **still** what she wanted.

She broke her mouth away from his, leaving her dazed and him confused. "Kai…" She let out a breathy moan, trying to concentrate on her breathing rather than his explorative hands.

He seemed to be getting frustrated as he trailed a hand slowly from her elbow to her wrist, sending more goosebumps up to her skin. "You don't love him Hilary." He growled in a low husky voice, "We aren't doing anything wrong." He seemed so sure of himself. How could he be so sure!

"No I don't." For the first time Hilary voiced her agreement, Kai's gaze snapped to hers. So intense… So intimate. Looking away briskly she continued, "But-"

"You want me! You don't love him." He hissed leaning forward as he grabbed her hand and brought it back up to his lips as he did once before. So sensual. She shivered as he kissed the insides of her wrists. "It's simple as that." He whispered.

"I wish it was…" She brought her voice down to a whisper as twilight approached, trying to hold back the pain in her chest. But nothing was ever that simplistic. Nothing.

"It is! Damn it Hilary!" Kai growled and pulled her hand and placed it over his heart. "Can't you feel what you fucking do to me? That's all there is to this picture Hilary. And Tyson isn't in it!"

Hilary blushed deeply, feeling his pounding heartbeat beneath her palm that he had just kissed. How could he be so sure of himself? So confident? Even though he knew she was with Tyson. How!

They didn't seem to notice that the tide was going out, and the water was now swelling at their calves in the time they had spent in the water.

"But that's just it…" She whispered, placing more pressure where her palm met his heart. "Tyson **is** in the picture… You were too late. You left me and the boys. What was I supposed to do Kai?" She asked now getting slightly angry, remembering now that _he_ was the reason she was even with Tyson.

"You were supposed to wait for me…"

Her response to this new challenge was to roughly push him away. She snapped her hand back out of his hold as if burned by the words. It had been worse than if he had slapped her. Hilary didn't know what she had expected him to say, but something more loyal to her or responsive to this weakening in her loyal calibre towards Tyson than what he had just whispered.

"Wait for you?" She hissed in a low mocking voice. "I didn't know if you would ever come back! I didn't even know that you harboured any mutual feelings that I held for you!" She wanted to cry and scream at him. How could he suddenly turn this around on her? Blame her for this entire mess!

"I was an idiot."

His low voice made her eyes widen at his confession.


	3. Part Three

A/N: This is a 3 part story, and this is the final instalment! Gasp! Thanks to everyone that followed this story through, Mystic and I really appreciate it (and she probably hopes that it kept your kaihil urges sedated while she finishes off the chapters to her other stories). If anyone is interested in a lemon, there will be one added to the version of this story, on Mystic's account there. Kay? Kay.

**:Since you been Gone:**

**chapter 3**

"Where is she?" There was something pained about Tyson's voice that stopped Ray in his tracks. Like he had something caught in the back of his throat, caught behind his eyes … in his heart. It was a silent admission to the fact he knew something was happening, and that something involved Hilary. And he tried to make himself sound casual, of course, as he stacked up the dishes … but really? Ray had known him practically forever.

There was no such thing as hiding things from you team mates.

Ray bit his lip, "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Tyson repeated, placing the dishes one by one into the sink. Slowly, as if he had to think about each and every movement, or they'd all come crashing down onto the floor.

"No."

"Don't fucking lie to me."

Ray's head snapped up, colliding with dark angry eyes. There was a familiar sense of determination in them he'd seen before … often when facing opponents in beyblading. "I'm not lying," He began to say, but Tyson cut him off.

"I'm not stupid, Ray. I heard the screaming. I saw Kai storm out." He shook his head, ignoring the blue hair that fell into his eyes, "The next thing we know, Hil' is gone. I know she always used to go after him before but …" He wiped his palms against his jeans in almost a nervous manner, "This isn't before. She's not an innocent young girl anymore. Though," He gave a wry, forced laugh, "I guess she never was all that innocent. But she _is_ with me."

Ray didn't want to encourage the conversation, but he was undeniably curious. "You think she'd do something with him?"

"God, I don't know." He sighed, and when he looked back at Ray, his expression was considerably more vulnerable. "Sometimes it feels as though things couldn't be more perfect. We get along, we have fun … And when it's like that I can't imagine things being any different. Hilary's the girl for me, ya know?" He squinted up into the artificial lights on the roof, as if even the blaring glare would be better than Ray's sympathetic expression at that moment. "And then … Then there's the other times. When I don't understand her, when we fight, when she –" He cut himself off abruptly and a subtle blush tints his cheeks. "Never mind."

"But she hasn't shown any particular interest in Kai before has she?" Ray makes his voice innocent, inquisitive. While he knew Kai was infatuated, if not in love, with Hilary, he also knew he wasn't the only one. Tyson would have been gutted if he'd seen them at it this afternoon.

"Well … not since he left, I guess. I mean, before they seemed pretty close friends or something. I don't know." He started to move past Rei, towards the door. "I sposed that was why she took so long to get over him leaving. But now that I think about it …"

"Maybe you shouldn't think about it." Ray followed him out into the garden. "Maybe you're just jumping to conclusions." _Forgive me Tyson, but things might work out for you yet._

"What am I supposed to do then?" Tyson whirled around, his hands up in the air, defensive. "Just sit around and wait for her to come running back! What if she never does, Ray? What then? What if she runs off with Kai and never comes back!"

"You don't know that –"

"All I know," He said, turning back and power walking at an incredibly pace to the road, "Is that I was damn lucky to get her in the first place, and I'm not just going to let her go like that."

…

When Hilary came to her senses, she was lying on a couch, soft and warm, plush and comfortable. Her wet clothes were discarded, leaving her body nearly naked and oh so vulnerable.

She remembered Kai taking advantage of her shock and leading her away from the beach. He led her to an apartment building in silence, his grip on her wrist firm as he dragged her down the streets of Tokyo.

And now she was here; Kai had undressed her, kissed her senseless before leaving her dazed as he went into the bathroom for a moment leaving Hilary alone with her thoughts.

She vaguely heard the sound of running water in the distance as she continued to stare up in aimless thought at the ceiling. Why had she willingly let Kai lead her here? Kai had already confirmed what she always knew in her heart and shattered her loyalty towards Tyson. He broke her, and now he wanted to keep every last piece of her to himself.

Selfish?

_Hell yes!_

He hadn't been around for four years and yet… something in his eyes when he told her he was an idiot, there was something deeper, heart retching, something so confusing yet so pining that Hilary couldn't help but fall into his pleas. Helpless as she seemed, as she felt, she gave herself up the moment he lifted her head to meet her in a painful gaze.

How could she deny him? How could she deny him the one thing he seemed to be longing for, for a very long time? Her body, her mind… her heart. He was like her in many ways. Denying him would be like turning her back on herself. Denying him would make her a hypocrite.

Placing the back of her hand on her forehead she let her eyes fall shut. What was she supposed to do? She had already kissed Kai several times; already she should be considered a cheating whore for doing this to Tyson. She felt as low as all those damn fan girls; yet at the same time, being with Kai made her feel more alive than she had in the past four years.

Why couldn't **she** be selfish this once?

Her eyes flashed open at her new sudden challenge of thoughts. Yes, that's right. Tyson and the boys had been selfish for the past 6 years of her knowing them, putting Beyblading and some stupid championship title before their friendship. Always risking the important things for a stupid game, and they never gave a damn about her feelings. They were always too wound up in the game to care about Hilary until after the tournament.

They, Tyson most of all, had been the most selfish idiot for the past fucking six years of staying with them. Indeed, why **couldn't** she be selfish this once?

Kai had been all she ever wanted since the first time she saw his picture at Kenny's house during the eighth grade. Any normal human would have assumed it was just a silly school girl crush; after all what girl _didn't_ have a crush on him during that time?

No her first impression with Kai was that he was a cold hearted, handsome bastard that was evil as hell. Though she later learned she may have over-exaggerated a tad bit.

But later as he warmed up to her and vice versa, she slowly got small peeks at the real Kai under that cold mask he always hid in behind. That's the Kai she cared for, and it didn't bother her that he put up a cold front, she couldn't blame him for not wanting girls getting too close for him. It was all because of his image anyway.

But now, like some bizarre and surreal dream, Kai wanted her back. What was she supposed to do when the man she had been having wet dreams about for years was suddenly back and practically dragging her out of Tyson's arms? She could only fight it for so long.

But fighting it only hurt more. She didn't want to fight! Not Kai of all people! He was saving her from the mess he left behind wasn't he?

"Hilary." His voice was low and calm. A familiar tone she was used to when dealing with Kai during the Third World Championships. She sat up and craned her head to see him standing in the bathroom door way, the sound of running water had stopped. He was dressed in just a dark towel around his waist, his arms over her chest as he stared at her. "Come here." Again, such a simple command, and she felt it held more meaning than what he was giving off.

Slowly getting to her frozen feet, she walked over to Kai who lead her into the darkened bathroom, only a dozen candles held a simple glow to the room. She heard the door shut behind her as she stared down at the seaming bath water.

Tensing slightly as he unclasped her blue bra strap and slid the garment down her arms and to the floor. She felt his warm lips seal a gentle kiss on the back of her shoulder, gently brushing away a few chestnut strands of hair to the side. She shivered at this, why was it that all of Kai's touches seemed so sensual and intimate, it almost scared her.

_Almost._

Hooking his fingered around the straps of the bikini styled panties, he slowly slid them down over her hips and down to her ankles in such a fluid motion Hilary had barely time to think what was happening.

Her breathing was heavy now; shallow breaths seemed to hitch in her throat when she found Kai's hand wrapping around her and pressing firmly on the flat of her stomach, sucking passionately at the nape of her neck. "Get in." He whispered slowly in a deep sultry voice.

Shivering again, remembering how cold the water was at the ocean, Hilary complied and slipped a foot into the water, followed by the other, easing herself into the warm liquid. Her feet felt like they were on fire after being so numbingly cold, to a now warm and welcoming bath.

And it was an unusual and somewhat foreign feeling that imbedded itself in Hilary's stomach as she slid against the pale porcelain backing of the bathtub. Her knees jerked against his, the plug dug into her ass … but then there were his hands on hers, and the strange smile on his lips. He had her now. It had taken less time than expected … but that was only further proof that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

And that deep down, there'd always been something between them. Something neither of them was quite able to describe, like a niggling touch at the back of your heart that you weren't really sure was there or not. And then it clicked.

Kai's smile turned predatory, and he began to sink down further in the tub, pulling Hilary above him to account for lost space. She squealed as the water splashed over her back, as her body moved on top of his, so far she could rest her elbows against his chest. She sighed slightly, giving in, "I guess you've got me exactly where you want me now, don't you?"

"Almost." He replied, leaning in so close their lips were just almost touching. "Though there's just one more thing you need to know." His warm breath mingled with hers and she whined.

"Kaai…" He was so close … so close … _that tease_!

"I love you." And then his lips were against hers, with such a frantic need and desperation she couldn't help but gasp against him. It was as though he wanted to prove it to her … to prove to her that she meant something to him. He wouldn't leave again. He couldn't now that he knew what he'd been missing. His hands grasped at her waist, in a vain attempt to pull her almost impossibly closer.

"Kai …" His kisses moved across her jawline, down her neck. "Kai, I …"

Then to her breasts … she realised then he'd perhaps unconsciously positioned them differently as to allow him better access. She bit her lips, a moan threatening to escape them. She had to say it … she had to … she couldn't just …

"I know." Her gaze snapped down to his, startled. _How had he …?_ But then she shrugged, mentally, he could see it in her eyes. _Arrogant bastard always knew everything. _The next thing she knew, the temperature in the bath had grown a hell of a lot hotter. His hands were everywhere … Her hands were everywhere …

The door clicked open.

Widen eyes stared down at the speechless naked couple groping each other in the bathtub. "Oooohkaaay…."

"TALA! You bastard! Don't you knock!"

**WHACK**

"Ow! Damnit stop throwing shit at me!" Tala hissed covering both eyes as a shampoo bottle hit his forehead. "I just thought you'd like to know Tyson and Ray are here asking for… the both of you. I told him you were in the shower and I hadn't seen Hilary! I'm not covering for you so hurry up." And with that the door was slammed.

"Shit!" Hilary scrambled out of the tub, wrapping her self in a plush towel.

"Go into my bedroom and put on some of my clothes. We'll tell him you took a nap while waiting for your clothes to dry." Kai said flatly, standing up and pulling the curtain around the tub, "I'll finish my _shower_." He grunted.

Hilary sighed heavily, and hurried out of the bathroom into Kai's room. She went straight for the drawer and pulled out a long sleeved shirt, it was obviously baggy, and draped down to her mid thighs when she pulled the dark material over her head. Screw finding pants that fit, she already knew that would be next to impossible.

So she ruffled up her hair a bit to make it look as though she had been sleeping and slowly made her way to the living room- hesitantly. God she didn't want to face Tyson… not after what she had done behind his back. But she needed to end things before she got in too deep.

"I knew you were here." Hilary jumped at the unfamiliar tone in Tyson's voice. It was dark and snappy; almost as if he knew… but he couldn't have… he didn't know. Did he? "Why did you come here, and not home?"

"I kinda got my clothes wet in the ocean, so Kai offered to let me borrow some clothes while mine were in the dryer… I guess I dozed off when Kai went for a shower." Okay that wasn't completely true, but it wasn't completely false either.

Before Ray could even attempt to get Tyson to calm down, the blue-haired teen stepped forward. "Is there something going on between you and Kai?" His tone underlined a demand. He wanted the truth.

The truth…

"I think so…" She whispered softly.

Tyson's body was stiff, and his express was unreadable. Why wasn't he screaming or yelling or having a temper tantrum! "I see…" His tone had dropped to that of her own.

She took this chance to explain herself before Tyson could blow up on her. "Tyson you and I both know that if it were anyone else I wouldn't even have considered it. But it's Kai, Tyson. It's Kai. He's our friend, our companion, and I know he's been in your life a lot longer than mine. And god, I know I should hate him for the mess he left behind when he left, but I can't. I've loved him for a very long time Tyson, and my heart just doesn't have the strength to hate him." She paused, possible to give Tyson time to process what she had just said.

He still didn't move, didn't yell, didn't speak at all. He wouldn't even look at her.

She tried again. "I tried to make it possible for you to be the only one in my life. I tried so hard to force my heart to love you, to make up for being an idiot when Kai left. God, I wanted so badly for you to be the only one Tyson!"

"And now?" His voice was stable, but on the edge of something much worse than tears.

"I see that I can't force my heart to do anything. You know I love you. I love you and all the boys. You are my family and my life; my best friend. I would be no where without you- but I'm not **in** love with you Tyson." She said softly, her tone sympathetic and apologetic.

He still wouldn't look at her.

"Of course not…" He sounded so bitter, and so hurt. It didn't matter how much he hid it, she knew this was probably hurting him ten times more than it was hurting her. And if that were the case, Tyson should be falling apart by now because Hilary felt so much remorse welled up inside her chest it hurt.

"Please don't hate me for this Tyson." She said suddenly, catching his gaze in hers. She was struggling to keep control of her emotions, this hurt so much more than she thought it would.

"Tyson… say something." Ray said softly, hesitantly a gentle hand on his friends shoulder. It was as if he was afraid to move the tension was so thick- Tala could feel it too from where he stood by the door.

Hilary intervened desperately though. "You know this isn't at all like me, but I can't help what I feel towards Kai- I love him Tyson. But I don't want to lose you! I need you to understand, I'm not like all those fan whores that follow you boys around, I really care for you!"

Tyson said nothing as his eyes flickered over past her shoulder. "Do you love her?"

Hilary glanced behind her to see Kai leaning against the wall, arms folded, hair still dripping wet from his shower. His eye's glazed over in a silent challenge as he stared directly at Tyson. "I do."

Tyson's eyes fixated back on Hilary, who was holding her breath as Tyson took a step towards her. Why hadn't he lashed out yet? Shouldn't he be angry and hate her? Yell at her? Hell anything was better than this unfamiliar tension that was radiating off of him.

_Please don't hate me…_

She let the air escape her lungs as she felt Tyson's warm lips press against her left cheek, before he whispered against her ear, almost bitterly, "I will always love you, and I will always be waiting." He pulled away and turned on his foot, not even sparing her a glance, muttering for Ray to follow as he strode back out the door.

Hilary didn't even seem to notice Ray hesitating to follow Tyson as her knees buckled, and found herself on hands and knees on the carpet- silent tears pouring down her cheeks as she fought to find air. She drew in a shaky breath which sounded much like a sob, clenching her fists as Tala gently shut the door as Ray left. She did the right thing, yet why did she feel so awful!

It wasn't until Kai wrapped an arm around her waist bringing her up against her chest did she realise that she was crying, and what she had done to cause it, did she let out a loud cry of guilt, burying her face into his chest.

_Tyson must really hate me now…_

She felt his strong hand rubbing her back in reassurance. "I'm not leaving you, Hilary." His voice was just above a whisper, but the words alone were enough to comfort her.

…

Socks … shirts … underwear … jackets … passport … Hilary's head jerked up, dropping the checklist that she'd been clutching in her hand. "Shit," She groaned, glancing around at the chaos that littered the floor of Tala's, Kai's, and now also her, apartment. "Where the hell is my passport?"

Before she began to rummage frantically through the suitcases and handbags, she glanced at the watch on her wrist. The silver backing had chipped and the second hand had dropped off, but it worked as well as ever. 5 AM. Their plane left at 6. She grunted – that left half an hour to leave, as it took half an hour to get to the airport. And only a couple of minutes to find her passport.

She squealed, practically diving into the piles of clothes. For the past three weeks Hilary and Kai had been organising this trip back to Russia. Getting visas for her, making sure the Hiwatari properties were liveable, buying warm clothes – the works. At first Hilary had been hesitant about the whole idea. She didn't want to run away from anything, and Japan had always been, and always would be, her home. She had no idea what Kai had done these past four years, but she wasn't having any of it.

Luckily, for Kai more than anyone else, that wasn't his intention at all. He'd just muttered something about a holiday, a little break and … _what else had he said?_ Hilary sighed and almost slapped herself. Of course. He wanted her to know more about his past. Funny how she could have forgotten for even a second. She'd been obsessing about it ever since he mentioned it.

And seriously? Who wouldn't? If your boyfriend of a few weeks had suddenly announced you needed to know more about his past … well it usually meant that he was hoping you'd be a large part of his future. She smiled a little to herself at the thought. A white winter wedding would be nice … As would a few mini Kais running around the house.

"Hilary?" Her eyes shot up to the doorway, blushing furiously despite the fact there was no way he could've known what she was thinking. Kai tilted his head at her slightly. _What has she been up to …?_ "Are the cases ready? I should probably start taking them downstairs."

"Um …" She hesitantly got to her feet, head bowed guiltily, "They are, but there's no good in that if I can't find my passport. I mean, sure we could get to the airport, but after that …"

Kai rolled his eyes, "You gave them both to me last night, remember? You said you'd loose them for sure and that I was the only one who could be –"

She laughed sheepishly, cutting him off, "Oh yeah. Heh heh."

His knuckles brushed against the back of her head lightly, in an affectionate sort of scolding. "Lucky you did, too. Now can I take these?" He jerked his head in the direction of cases, and she nodded mildly.

"I think I've got everything then … but it's going to be cold this time of year, right? Snowing and everything… and I'm not sure I packed enough socks. You know, they say your head lets out the most heat but seriously have you ever walked out in the freezing cold and –"

Kai silenced her with a quick kiss, cupping her face with his hands. He smiled, barely inches away from her face. "You have enough socks. And if you don't, we can buy more over there." And then he was by the door again, the battered suitcases under his arms. "Don't stress too much, okay?"

"I'm not stressing!"

"Sure." He shrugged, "Just make sure your out by the curb in 10'."

"Yup." Her heart was beating a million times an hour. _His past … his future._ She grinned – How lucky could she get? It had been a rough ride ever since she'd made the commitment to him. A whirlwind, really. The first problem had been over where to live, because she didn't want to intrude on Kai or Tala's life. Kai had shrugged, smirking. _You've already done that._ Tala had collected her things, and Ray had helped to move them over. She'd been so relieved to see her old friend again – she'd feared that after the whole ordeal was over, he'd hate her for breaking his friends heart. But as he himself pointed out, Kai was a friend too.

He could never really take sides.

She straightened up, glancing into the mirror to her left. God, she looked awful. A result of having woken up waaay too early. Maybe she should brush her hair, or put some make up on or…

_Ring. Ring._

Shit. Who could possibly be calling at this hour. Hilary glared at the phone, and then glanced at the bathroom doorway. She couldn't very well be part of his future if she looked like crap could she? God, if he had any living relatives or friends there in Moscow and she turned up looking like that they'd probably run half a mile in fright. Despite the cold winter.

_Ring. Ring._

The bruenette growled and seized the headset up.

"Who is it." She spat, staring at her reflection angrily. Early mornings never had agreed with her.

"Uh, Hilary?" Hilary froze, her hand midway through brushing her bangs back. She knew that voice all too well, but to hear it now? When she was about to go to Russia? She bit down on her lip. Hard.

"Speaking."

The person on the other line sighed in relief. "Thank god. I don't know what I would've down if Kai had picked up." Was it really him? After all this time not seeing him every day, not waking up to him sitting at the end of her bed, grinning at her over a bowl of cereal, not being able to have their little in depth conversations all the time … she simply couldn't believe that he would call her now. She couldn't be sure it was him. He hated her, right? She'd lied to him, left him …

So just to be sure, "Um, sorry for asking, but who is this?"

"Tyson." He sounded surprised and a little hurt she had to ask. "I heard," He paused to draw a long, taxing breath, "I heard that you were leaving to Russia this morning so I thought … I thought I might call. I mean, we haven't talked in so long and I've kind of missed that. But anyway. It'll be my last chance, right? Before you leave, I mean."

"Hi Tyson," Hilary's mind had drawn a blank.

"So how are you, Hilary?" Somehow, calling her Hils like he always used to seemed inappropriate. "I mean, with Kai. Is he treating you okay? God, you're not running off to Russia because he's ditched you and you think he's there, are you? Hilary, that's stupid. If he's runaway from you then he's a stupid arrogant bastard that deserves to rot away in that ice land. Honestly."

He was talking in fast bursts, as if he feared if he took any longer to say them they might hurt more than he'd anticipated. Hilary smiled, "Thanks Tyson."

The blue haired boy stopped, "Huh?"

"For caring about me. After everything."

"Oh." On his end, Tyson blushed softly. He was glad he was able to do this over the phone, and not in person, because as it was he was a nervous wreck. Not only was his face turning a lovely beetroot colour, but he'd been forced to sit on one of his hands in a vain attempt to stop them from shaking. He was surprised she could still hear him over the sound of the handset gently tapping his ear every two seconds.

"And he hasn't left me or anything… We're just going to Russia for a bit of a vacation," She laughed in spite of herself, "If you could call it that. We should be back in a week or two, so we can meet up then, ok?" She fidgeted with the phone call, wrapping it around her fingers tightly. "That's only if you want to, of course."

"That would be good." Yeah, if he'd managed to compose himself by then. The very thought of her going away with Kai somewhere for two weeks –sharing a room, sharing meals… sharing a life- still made him sick to the stomach. He still hadn't accepted the fact that she loved the former team captain and not him, but he had somehow convinced himself that either way, love wasn't something that couldn't be controlled. She couldn't help falling for Kai anymore than he could help still yearning for her. Holding a grudge seemed stupid.

Love was fate. And if she wasn't destined to be with him … then she wasn't. Tyson was sure he'd find The One for him eventually.

"Hilary!"

Tyson's hand clenched around the phone, "Is that him?" He forced out between clenched teeth. Fucking Kai. Even if Tyson could forgive Hilary for it, he wasn't sure if he'd ever stop being mad at Kai. If only he hadn't come back…

Hilary glanced down at her finger, which had slowly begun to turn purple. She quickly untied it. "Uh, yeah." She replied sheepishly, "I think I should probably leave now, we have to be an hour early and –"

"I understand." He sighed, "I guess I'll see you when you come back then?"

"Yeah, for sure."

"Well… See ya."

"Bye,"

_Click._

"Hilary! We don't want to be late okay? Get down here!" Demanding as always. Hilary smiled contently to herself. Maybe things would turn out okay for the Bladebreakers after all. Maybe there was still a chance of them reuniting one day – Half way through opening the front door, she froze, a wave of nausea hitting her like a tonne of bricks. She blinked, hard, looking hard at Kai who stood in front of her, arms crossed. Was she going to throw up?

Kai seemed to sense something, because a look of concern suddenly clouded his features.

She was.


End file.
